..just suck up!!!..

Being me is difficult. People put high expectation on me. Everything is on my shoulder. Sometimes, it does feel good when people put certain expectation on me. It is because there are people that does give attention and actually care about me. But really, too much of it, make me choked on suffocation! I can barely breathe.

Being me is difficult. It simply because I am the most reckless, love to make joke and fooling around, to the extend people don’t actually believe that I can be a serious person. They don’t know how serious thinker I am. All they know, hmm Fara, she can’t be rely on. And most of the question just pop out from their mouth, states the accusation that really hurt me. Is there nothing about me that is really good? Am I the only one with the mistakes? Don’t I allow making mistakes?

Being me is difficult. I know I screwed big time long time ago. Tarnishing the family good name and Gods know what I did back then. But people do mistakes. I’m not the Prophet or the angel. More or less, you do mistakes too. And lot cruel and meaner than me. Please don’t judge me, simply by the mistake that I did. I am a different person now. A much better person!

Being me is difficult. When all the time, I was trying to make everyone please, and all of the sudden, people will tear away the thing that I try to build up. If me being nice is a sin, and what should I do next? Simply stating that you are really a pain in the ass!!?? But by stating that, I am nothing better to compare to you. Just that it comply that I should really be like you. A mean son of the biatch!

Being Farahiyah Binti Mohamed Hairiri is indeed difficult. And a nuisance to some people. But who are you to judge me, for what I do!!?? Just please grow up and find other people to pick a fight with. Just give your cruelty and mean empathy to someone else. Really, it does not effect to me at all. Is like a fart that flow into air!

p/s: I am in a foul mood! I just hate when people being so nice to me, but at the same time hurling those nasty word in front and behind my back. And I am tired of being nice to people that does not know what nice means. Just go away! Amik jer duit RM100 aku tuh buat salat punggung ko! Ko tak gak kaya! Aku pun tak miskin! How arrogance is my statement? But I have the every right to be that way!