..happy me!!..

amacam?? coolio tak saya??

I AM HAPPY!

I am happy! Seriously I am. Don’t know how to describe it. But somehow I am happy. What more can you ask for. I am blessed with TWO wonderful kid of my own and a husband who is to ego to admit that he loves me. He does love me though. Even though there are times that I feel to kick some sense in him.

We have our differences. But we settle the differences, sooner or later. Like my friend said, that’s why I am fated to be with him. Because he is the one with a temper (so am I, mind you), and I am the one who sooth him. I used my brain maa! Hahahahhahahahah Kalau seorang nak meroyan, tak akan dua-duanya sekali meroyan kan??

I tried to be like my mom. She is my idol in shaping my marriage life. How she handle things, us and my dad temperament. He’s not bad temper but he was strict. The strict was for his children sake and for our future. Kalau tak, kami 5 beradik tak akan jadi orang kan? Alhamdulillah all of us graduated with degrees and diplomas. (Even though cuma aku jerlah yang paling condemn.)

the adorable imie..

So being like my mom is tough. Quite difficult to remain silence to your husband temperament and being patient about it. Seriously! I’ve tried! Allah knows how I tried! It works for a while, but later you just want to scream some sense into him. But later, I found out that, is not worth it to make you all worked up. If you cannot beat them, joined them or be more sarcastic about it e.g; just smile through the argument or just simplified it. Remember! There are TWO children that need my attention and honestly it takes tones of energy just to make the TWO of them satisfied!

So that’s it! Up and down in marriage tu biasalahkan. Just be the genius one. Because we the woman are granted by Allah with brains to clear up men’s mess! *wink wink* And mind you, the woman also are the genius that fulfill the requirement to organize and handle a household! We ROCK!

So that’s it. Hoping that this feeling will remain till the end of our life.

..the 50th day..

how i love this picca!!

Hari ini adalah hari yang ke 50. Though I’m not in my confinement period, but still I feel tired to the bone! Seriously, it is not easy to be a wife and a mother. And I’m still on maternity leave that will be over this 4th February. Just imagine how I look like when I start working that day. Adding another job to the list as a career woman. Though sometimes, I do feel like quitting and be a full time ummi and a housewife. My job does suck big time though! But I need the money. So, who am I to blame?

Sekarang ni, barulah tahu condition Azie macam mana. Dia pun anak DUA dan kerap macam aku. Takder saper pulak nak tolong. But still, she has her husband to help her when he’s a round. Honestly, man can be obnoxious selfish, ungrateful and feelingless! Seriously! I felt like kicking his shin! Like ‘wachaa’ kind of kicking! The reason of being tired from work can not be use of being selfish etc. Seriously! As though that I’m not tired. All this while it is me, who’s be handling this 2 children of ours. Now that I am home, there is house chore to think of. Having not able to sleep for 50 days does have the advantage of being the reason for being selfish. But I’m not selfish, am I? If I am, he’s going to see the house “tunggang terbalik’ condition or letting the children to cry their heart out whilst I could have the leisure of sleeping! But I didn’t do that, did I?

I know, it is not good to complaint. Plus there will be ‘pahala’ deduction if you are not true enough in doing your responsibility. But to whom you could let go the anger and frustration that has been building up in you?? And somehow, I do know the answer. In this matter handling your anger and frustration thing, I turn to my mom. And she advised, be reasonable and wise. Don’t let you anger and frustration control you, even though the thought of stabbing her with a pencil does cross my mind. Having the devilish thought in mind, do ease the feeling a bit. Heheheh

I came across this article in one of the magazine that my mom read during my confinement period. It is one of the reasons that keep me calm and smiling today. That makes me sane till this day. As a woman, you have the advantage of all the goodness in this world. Everything you do, Allah will be grant ‘pahala’ to you easily. Especially to woman that has become a wife or a mom. Don’t know how to tell this, but I survived his grumpiness today! Seriously! I survived without biting my lips!

Alhamdulillah. Terlepas satu dosa aku hari nih. Walaupun aku rasa macam nak terkeluar mata aku ni tahan geram. Heheheh But I feel tremendously calm today! Don’t know what happen. Perhaps I just make myself busy, until I forgot to feel angry. Ahaks!

bley ker aku buka nursery lepas nih?? hehehe

..the man who sold the world..

..kenapa aku pejam mata?? sukahati aku la..aku nak tunjuk bukti lepas bersalinkan izzah, aku still can fit those kebaya...huhuhuhu...

Bday kie yang ke 31! Tapi adakah benar umurnya 31 tahun? Adakah sekadar gimik semata-mata?? Heheh I know what u did last week la yang. Mula-mula aku tak tahu alkisahnya cerita di sebalik kelahiran kie. Nak tahunya, he was actually born in December 1976! To be precise 31st December 1976! Secara tak langsungnya, he was actually born in the same month with Imie! Who would think of that? Aku sama bulan ngan Izzah and Kie sama bulan ngan Imie!

Nak jadikan cerita, orang dulu-dulukan bersalin kat rumah. Then it will take some time, for them to register the birth of their child. Then by the time abah kie gi register which is in Balai Polis, so he put la 2 January 1977 instead.

Moralnya?? Kenononnya, depa nih dok kesian la anak lelaki depa nih lahir hujung tahun. Orang lain dah berjanggut tua, dia masih terkial-kial nak jadi tua! Kuikuikuikuikuikuikuikuikui

Anyway yang, HAPPY 31st BIRTHDAY ke 32nd? Hehehehe but age does not matter kan? Yang penting hati mau happy dan ceria sokmo! May Allah bless you alwez, and how we bless to have u as my husband and abah to Izzah and Imie. We love you heaps!

p/s: Kie’s bday was during my confinement. So I ask my mom to buy his gift, yakni sehelai t-shirt. And she selected herself. Aku suruh mak beli yang murah, instead she bought for him yang mahal coz’ she said the mahal one is much better in quality. Jadi moralnya apa anak2? That kie is their favorite son in law? Or perhaps kie yang mengada, sampai sikit2 abah ngan mak cakap, zaki dah makan ker? Dah buat air untuk zaki ker? Sikit2 zaki itu..sikit2 zaki ini. Adakah itu menggambarkan aku jeles? Idak lah sama sekali. Good for him! But too much of him, bikin ambo terjelueh! :p

...kasih tercipta..

Alhamdulillah! After almost 12 hours struggling and pushing, I'm here to annouce the arrival of our son, Mohamad Rahimie Bin Mohamad Zaki. With 23 stiches, I survived the ordeal! Thank you for the wishes, the smses and the support from all of you. It helps me to heal and manage the trauma.

THANK YOU!

p/s: Ceriteranya lepas nih la yek..

..this time around..

so in love with her

This time around, I am 38 weeks pregnant. What do I think about this pregnancy? There’s no word to describe my feelings. There’s no word to describe what I think. What I know is I am going to face whatever happens. I’m not complaining neither is I being ungrateful. But this pregnancy is the real test from Allah, which I have to face.

Throughout the first 5 months, the nausea that I felt is really the obnoxious one. It doesn’t show any mercy to a human being like me. It is just attacking without a break, or without a sympathy shown. So what am I to do? Rather to face and handle the matter bravely. Well there’s no one to help me. Even Kie is helpless to help.

Speaking about him. Hmmm..That was also a test. But as an adult and a future ummi to 2 wonderful children, I have to handle that matter wisely without incurring any complication, mentally corruption as well as any dissatisfying to out each other. I prayed that everything went smoothly. And how I prayed!

Being an adult, you have the advantage of being rational and mature about this whole thing. And being the only one that being rational and matured, I have no choice but to handle the situation as calm and in order as possible. Do not involve in stupid argument with Kie and leave your stressful work at your house doorstep!

the peruts of mine at this period

As I don’t cook anymore, there are financial issue occurs! And like I said, I have to be the mature and wise one. There are Izzah and newborn baby to think of. And there’s food to put on the table. But Alhamdulillah, I did manage to handle those matters without slashing tongue with Kie nor having to pull long face with each other.

Honestly, it is quite tiring to be the person to think! To be the only person who thinks! And sometimes, I do feel like screaming my heart out! Unleashed the burden I have to carry all this time! But as I prayed, praying so hard. Crying my heart out. And then I felt okay and everything will be alright. He doesn’t leave me after all this year. Just stretch your hand and pray.

At these 38 weeks, I have just realized. Things happen for reasons. Hundreds of them. Even sometimes, there are thousand of them. I just have to lay back and absorb. Breathe and exhale. That’s it. There’s no need to be emotional about what has happen. Just relaxed and lay back. Think the matter what matter you the most. Like Izzah for example. No matter what happen, she will always be there for me. To make me laugh and biting my lips to all her crankiness, joke, wailing, tantrums and gestures. And there will be a new member of the family. I am blessed. Seriously I am.

Alhamdulillah.

..dia sakit lagi..

when she was 4 mos old

Dia sakit lagi!

Having the same symptoms when she was warded the other day. Thank God I came early yesterday. Because I had my tummy check up with the clinic, thus Kie fetched me later. But it all started when we reached home. Izzah started to cry before she vomited. She vomits to the extend my clothes were soaked with her vomiting. At first I thought she was having that regular vomiting and later she will be alrite. But I was mistaken.

She just can’t stop vomiting and crying altogether. And I just can’t stop worrying. In my head I was imagine the image of the ER at the hospital. Today is the holiday for Pahang state. Meaning that, Kie has to take turn sit with his brother at the hospital. And for Izzah’s condition, I’m afraid the whole routine before warded will take place. I am in no condition to have that energy to go that ordeal again.

We took her to the clinic. The only clinic we trust so far. The doctor diagnosed her symptoms as food poisoning. (Izzah has new nanny now. Since my MIL, has to take care of her son.) At the clinic, I asked the doctor to give something to ease her vomiting and to comfort her stomach. He gave something real effective, but has to given through her butt. Just imagine the screeching of sound and crying that came out from Izzah’s mouth. (I don’t have the heart to see her in that condition actually. But things has to be done, before it gone worse.)

Luckily, Kie exchange places with his elder brother. So if anything happen, I am not that scared.

..ramadhan ini..

Hari nih dah start aku pasang langsir ngan kemas umah. Kalau aku yang tak buat, saper lagik nak buatkan? Hehehe Tapi yang pastinya, langsir umah aku tak la macam setengah-setengah rumah yang semestinya design yang da bomb dan baru.

Aku pakai jer langsir masa aku kahwin. The only curtain yang baru, untuk kitchen dan bilik air bawah. Yerlah nak cover sikit bilik air tuh. Matching la kat bawah tuh ngan warna feveret aku; maroon. Then when I visited one of the shops here, I came across this material that I love so much. Takder lah grand sangat. But being me, aku suka corak yang simple dan tak berserabut.

with opah, nenek, kak athirah, abg aiman & abg arif

So last 2 weeks of fasting, aku balik Ipoh, since aku tak tahu whether aku dapat balik Ipoh or not this coming raya. Aku bawa balik la material tuh, thinking that it can be the curtain for 3 rooms kat atas. Hanya untuk pintu bilik jer. Others just guna langsir yang ada. So berbalik pada soal material yang aku beli tuh, aku bawa balik Ipoh. Minta tolong ngan mak untuk jahitkan.

Mak tak sempat nak jahitkan on the spot, since aku akan balik that Sunday to Pahang. So last week, mak posted the curtain back to me. Together with sarung tilam Izzah and kuah kacang. Mak la kan. Always know what their daughter thinking. Sbb aku mmg nak suh mak postkan kuah kacang instant tuh sekali. The best instant kuah kacang I’ve ever tasted! Hehehe

Masa pasang langsir kat bawah tadi, Izzah la orang paling sibuk sekali. Kie cakap “awak jakun ker tak pernah tengok langsir ke??” HEhehehhh… memangla kan.. Aku tak pernah pasang langsir kat bawah tuh. Cuma pasang heading jer. Tapi not fully with 2nd layered. Izzah was playing with the curtains. Mulut jangan cakap la. Cam mulut murai. Kie cakap ikut aku..Iyer ker..?? heheh I guess I am a bit the murai. Hahahahahahah

So this raya should be awesome, not because of the curtains. But Izzah dah pandai nak beraya. Tapi yang failnya masa aku trykan baju kurung tuh, she end up crying. Salah aku ker, sbb memboyishkan anak aku. Bukan aku tak suka pakaikan dia girlish. Tapi aku suka yang ringkas dan tak serabut mata memandang. Mata aku la kan. So I end up buying shorts, shirts, slacks, denim for her.

Tapi ada juga yang tak best raya ini. Aku tak tahu lagi whether aku balik Ipoh atau tidak because of my condition! A bit the crappie this time. Masa preggykan Izzah, 7 months onwards adalah masa untuk aku maju dengan jayanya. I can walk happily! I can go wherever I want, without have to complain anything. La nih? Feh! Nak gi Pasar Ramadhan pun aku tak leh nak breath. And suddenly feeling like to faint and vice versa. Ramadhan kali ini, mmg mencabar minda dan fizikal aku. Terlampau byk dugaan. Tapi sebagai hambaNya, I have to accept this ngan redhanya. Things happen for a reason. So perhaps, aku leh bersalin ngan jayanya! Or maybe perhaps, there’s no superstition crap yang perlu aku hadapi. It’s only perhaps. But who knows kan? heheheh

izzah the next day, when we were lepaking at white coffee kopitiam (kreko kan anak aku nih??)