Thursday, January 24, 2008

..the 50th day..

how i love this picca!!
Hari ini adalah hari yang ke 50. Though I’m not in my confinement period, but still I feel tired to the bone! Seriously, it is not easy to be a wife and a mother. And I’m still on maternity leave that will be over this 4th February. Just imagine how I look like when I start working that day. Adding another job to the list as a career woman. Though sometimes, I do feel like quitting and be a full time ummi and a housewife. My job does suck big time though! But I need the money. So, who am I to blame?

Sekarang ni, barulah tahu condition Azie macam mana. Dia pun anak DUA dan kerap macam aku. Takder saper pulak nak tolong. But still, she has her husband to help her when he’s a round. Honestly, man can be obnoxious selfish, ungrateful and feelingless! Seriously! I felt like kicking his shin! Like ‘wachaa’ kind of kicking! The reason of being tired from work can not be use of being selfish etc. Seriously! As though that I’m not tired. All this while it is me, who’s be handling this 2 children of ours. Now that I am home, there is house chore to think of. Having not able to sleep for 50 days does have the advantage of being the reason for being selfish. But I’m not selfish, am I? If I am, he’s going to see the house “tunggang terbalik’ condition or letting the children to cry their heart out whilst I could have the leisure of sleeping! But I didn’t do that, did I?

I know, it is not good to complaint. Plus there will be ‘pahala’ deduction if you are not true enough in doing your responsibility. But to whom you could let go the anger and frustration that has been building up in you?? And somehow, I do know the answer. In this matter handling your anger and frustration thing, I turn to my mom. And she advised, be reasonable and wise. Don’t let you anger and frustration control you, even though the thought of stabbing her with a pencil does cross my mind. Having the devilish thought in mind, do ease the feeling a bit. Heheheh

I came across this article in one of the magazine that my mom read during my confinement period. It is one of the reasons that keep me calm and smiling today. That makes me sane till this day. As a woman, you have the advantage of all the goodness in this world. Everything you do, Allah will be grant ‘pahala’ to you easily. Especially to woman that has become a wife or a mom. Don’t know how to tell this, but I survived his grumpiness today! Seriously! I survived without biting my lips!

Alhamdulillah. Terlepas satu dosa aku hari nih. Walaupun aku rasa macam nak terkeluar mata aku ni tahan geram. Heheheh But I feel tremendously calm today! Don’t know what happen. Perhaps I just make myself busy, until I forgot to feel angry. Ahaks!

bley ker aku buka nursery lepas nih?? hehehe



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