..b.r.o.k.e.n..

I wanted you to know that

I love the way you laugh

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away...

I keep your photograph and

I know it serves me well

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away

You've gone away, you don't feel me here, anymore

The worst is over now

And we can breathe again

I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away

There's so much left to learn

And no one left to fight

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Cause I'm broken when I'm open

And I don't feel like I am strong enough

Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away

Cause I'm broken when I'm open

And I don't feel like I am strong enough

Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away...

Cause I'm Broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone...

You gone away, you don't feel me here anymore

When you are no longer happy to go to work, it is the sign for you to move to another place.. I'm in the mix of pissed and sad.. I am indeed sad! But then I've promised myself, that I will finish what I start, and move away from this place. SUCKS BIG TIME!!!!

..:=(..

hati ini sedang rajuk...
lantas aku tidak mau berbuat apa2 hari ni..

hati ini sudah terguris..
lantas aku tak nak makan..tak nak minum..
rentetan yang mengguris perasaan..

hati ini terlampau terguris..
membuat mata ini digenangi air..
yang menunggu waktu untuk luruh..

hati ini sudah terluka..
tapi tidak mungkin aku berbicara..
akan kelukaan..dan rajuk ini..

hati ini tidak mungkin memaafkan...
tp memaafkan amalan yang terpuji..
dan aku harus merelakannya..

let it go fara..
let it go..

finish this..
and make the transfer..
let them rot!

..a new layout..

What do you think of my new layout??

A) macam sakai!
B) ngengada..org lain pakai background..ko pun nak pakai background..
C) wonderfull..wonderpet!
D) Marvelous! Tip Top! Malatops!
E) Ko jenis suka pasan diri blog ko lawan kan.. huhuhuhuh

Siler bagi komen.. hahahahhahahah Aku takek saper yang pilih E! Hahahahahahhahaha

..in my arms..

Tell me something that i know

Just something that i understand

I need to taste the warming glow

of your medicating hands

I know i'm ready for your love

I just don't understand it

There is a silent pact of trust

That i never could admit

That i never could

So now i'm telling you the reason i'm all messed up

Just have to look me in the eyes and i fall apart

Please let me hold you til i know

we are both through this

I couldn't lead another day without you here in my arms

You look so fragile i could break

But i try to hold myself together for the both of us

But in truth i'm just as scaredI just wanna watch you sleep

As you lie here beside me

So close your eyes i'll guard the door

And when you wake you'll wake with me

And when you wake you'll

So now i'm telling you the reason i'm all messed up

Just have to look me in the eyes and i fall apart

Please let me hold you til i know

we are both through this

I couldn't lead another day without you here in my arms

In my arms......

by,

Snow Patrol

..jawab tag..

TAG 1 : I SCREWED UP 45% OF MY TEENAGE LIFE!!!

[√] Gotten detention.
[ ] Gotten ur phone taken away in class
[ ] Gotten suspended.
[ ] Gotten caught chewing gum. --> selalu makan dalam class..tapi tak pernah kantoi.. sangat pro kah aku???
[ ] Gotten caught cheating on a test. --> selalu gaks buat kerjaan macam nih, tapi tak pernah kantoi.. again..pro giler kah aku??
Total: 1

[√] Arrived late to class more than 6 times. --> tapi tak pernah kena tahan..sebab sekolah itu bapak aku yang punya.. muahahahahhaha
[√] Didn’t do homework over 6 times.
[ ] Turned at least 3 projects in late.
[ ] Missed school cause you felt like it. -->agak2 dah lama idup ko buat la tak dtg sekolah.. kena ikat kat pokok kelapa aku nih kang...sakit pun aku gi gak sekolah..lepas tuh biler dah pengsan2 kat sekolah..kena marah gaks..sebab apa gi sekolah klu dh sakit...huhuhuhhu
[ ] Laughed so loud you got kicked out of class. --> aku sopan..buat menda gelak macam nak giler??? *wink*
Total: 2

[√ ] Got your mom/dad etc. to get you out of school.
[ ] Texted people during class --->
[√ ] Passed notes.
[√ ] Threw stuff across the room.
[ ] Laughed at the teacher.
Total: 3

[√ ]Pulled down the fire alarm. sprayed the fire extinguisher for no reason though ---> i'm a curious nature.. tapi lepas tuh aku lari lintang pukang sebab takut kena marah...u see curiosity kills the cat.. sib baik dia tak bunuh aku.. huhuhu
[ ] Went on Myspace , Facebook , Xanga , etc. on the computer at school --->
[√] Took pictures during school hours.
[ ] Called someone during school hours.
[√] Listened to an iPod , CD , etc... during class. --> at that time, i listened to my walkman..masa cikgu tgh ngajar.. aku pakai tudung kan.. mana nampak.. hehehehhe
Total: 3

[ ] Threw something at the teacher but didn't hit her
[ ] Went outside the classroom without permission.
[√] Broke the dress code. --> yer yer aku pernah buat benda nih.. org lain pakai tudung elok segitiga tuh.. aku pun pakai tudung segitiga tapi scarf... sukahati aku lah..nak pakai scarf ker.. nak pakai mini telekung ker.. sekolah itu bapak aku yg punya.. hahahahahahahha
[√] Failed a class test.
[√] Ate food during class.
Total: 3

[ ] Gotten a call from school.
[√] Couldn’t go on a field trip cause you behaved badly.
[ ] Didn’t take your stuff to school.
[ ] Gotten a detention and didn't go.
[ ] Stuck up your middle finger at a teacher when they were not looking.
[ ] Cursed during class loud enough so the teacher could hear.
Total: 1

[ ] Faked your parents signature -->adakah talian hayat aku panjang utk aku mengfakekan parents signature aku?? cikgu itu adalah parents aku..nak mampusss!!???
[√ ] Slept in class.
[ ] Cursed at a teacher to their face.
[√ ] Copied homework
Total: 2

Overall total: 15

Multiply by 3 = 15 x 3 = 45%

Tag your friends.Then Repost this & put the Title as "I screwed up __% of my teenage life"



TAG 2 : I'M A SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS... WHO ARE YOU?!!

everyone has a personality of a cartoon character. have u ever asked urself what cartoon character do u most resemble? answer 10 questions with what describes u best, add up all ur Points (which are next to the answer that u choose) at the end and look for ur results. do not cheat by looking at the end of the notes before u are done. then tag ur frens and change the subject of this notes to what character is u.

1. which one of the following describes ur perfect date?
[√ ] Candlelight Dinner (4 pts) --> yer yer aku tahu korang nak gelak.. aku takek pala sorang2 kang.. what to do i'm a hopelessly a romantic person.. a candlelight dinner will be the ultimate perfect date for me.. bilakah akan berlaku??? huhuhuhuh
[ ] Fun/Theme Park (2 pts.)
[ ] Painting in the park (5 pts.)
[ ] Rock Concert (1 pt.)
[ ] Going to the Movies (3pts.)

2. what is ur favorite type of music?
[√ ] Rock and Roll (2 pts.)
[ ] Alternative (1 pt.)
[ ] Soft Rock (4 pts.)
[ ] Country (5 pts.)
[ ] Pop (3 pts.)

3. what type of movies do u prefer?
[√] Comedy (2 pts.)
[ ] Horror (1 pt.)
[ ] Musical (3 pts.)
[ ] Romance (4 pts.)
[ ] Documentary (5 pts.)

4. which one of these occupations would u choose if u only could choose one of these?
[ ] Waiter (4 pts.)
[ ] Professional Sports Player (5 pts.)
[√] Teacher (3 pts.)
[ ] Police (2 pts.)
[ ] Cashier (1 pt)

5. what do u do with ur spare time?
[ ] Exercise (5 pts.)
[√ ]Read (4 pts.) --> i love reading during my spare time.. nerd kah aku?? huhuhuhu
[ ] Watch television (2 pts.)
[ ] Listen to music (1 pt.)
[ ] Sleep (3 pts.)

6. which one of the following colors do u like best?
[ ] Yellow (1 pt.)
[ ] White (5 pts.)
[ ] Sky Blue (3 pts.)
[√ ] Dark Blue (2 pts.)
[ ] Red (4 pts.)

7. what do u prefer to eat?
[ ] Snow (3 pts.)
[ ] Pizza (2 pts.)
[ ] Sushi (1 pt.)
[√ ] Pasta (4 pts.)
[ ] Salad (5 pts.)

8. what is ur favorite holiday?
[ ] Halloween (1 pt.)
[ ] Christmas (3 pts.)
[√] New Year (2 pts.)
[ ] Valentine's Day (4 pts.)
[ ] Thanksgiving (5 pts.)

9. if u could go to one of these places which one would it be?
[ ] Paris (4 pts)
[√ ]Spain(5 pts) --> hola!!! siler tengok aku pelik..tapi aku suka..spain have so many outdoor activities yang memberangsangkan...hehehhe see the lembu aaa..
[ ] Las Vegas(1 pt)
[ ] Hawaii(4 pts)
[ ] Hollywood (3 pts)

10. with which of the following would u prefer to spend time with?
[ ] Someone Smart (5 pts.)
[ ] Someone attractive (2 pts.)
[ ] Someone who likes to Party (1 pt.)
[√] Someone who always has fun (3 pts.) --> i am indeed a fun person.. so autamatically klu orang yang aku kuar tak fun pun, terus jadik fun... heheheh zz, ko tahu kan how fun i can be?? hahahahhahahahha terus mereng semua org yg kuar ngan aku... hahahahahhaha
[ ] Someone very sentimental (4 pts.)

OVERALL TOTAL = 31

now add up ur points and find out the answer u have been waiting for! put ur character in the subject line and tag ur frens and back to the person that tagged this to u. very interesting to see 'who' ur frens are!

(10-16 points) U are Garfield:~U are very comfortable, easy going, and u definitely know how to have fun but sometimes u take it to an extreme. U always know what u are doing and u are always in control of ur life. Others may not see things as u do, but that doesn't mean that u always have to do what is right. Try to remember, ur happy spirit may hurt u or others.

(17-23 points) U are Snoopy:~ U are fun; u are very cool and popular. U always know what's in and u' re never out of style , u are good at knowing how to satisfy everyone else. U have probably disappeared for a few days more than once but u always come home with the family values that u learned. Being married and having children are important to u, but only after u have had ur share of fun times.

(24-28 points) U are Elmo:~ U have lots of friends and u are also popular, always willing to give advice and help out a person in need. U are very optimistic and u always see the bright side of things. Some good advice: try not to be too much of a dreamer. Dreaming too big could cause many conflicts in ur life.

(29-35 points) U are Sponge Bob Square Pants:~ U are the classic person that everyone loves. U are the best friend that anyone could ever have and never wants to lose. U never cause harm to anyone and they would never not understand ur feelings. Life is a journey, it' s funny and calm for the most part. Stay away from traitors and jealous people and u will be stress free.

(36-43 points) U are Charlie Brown:~ U are tender, u fall in love quickly but u are also very serious about all relationships. U are a family person. U call ur Mom every Sunday. U have many friends and may occasionally forget a few Birthdays. Don't let ur passion confuse u with reality.

(44-50 points ) U are Dexter:~U are smart and definitely a thinker... Every situation is fronted with a plan. U have a brilliant mind. U demonstrate very strong family principles. U maintain a stable routine but never ignore a bad situation when it comes. Try to do less over thinking every once in a while to spice things up a bit with spontaneity!Now don't spoil it! Have some Fun!! Change the subject of the notes to what u are and tag it on.

Now aku nak tag:

1. jujuelopez
2. fillanie
3. mai
4. lenny
5. ila
6. moontok ku
7. green apple
8. farah amoi
9. azie
10. dan sesaper yang berminat untuk membuat...

...aku penat memikir...

Currently my life is PACK! Until MAY!!!!!

Pack dengan kerja.

Pack dengan kerja.

Pack dengan kerja.

Pack dengan kerja!!!!

Giler drama aku nih. Hahahahhahhahahahahahahha

Aku skang hook on tolong orang buat hantaran. See how fast the words travel?? Giler ok. Actually aku cuma nak tolong. Tapi tetiba kena buat smpi 3 set hantaran that needed to be ready by MAY!!!! Giler!!! Is like, hantaran 1 utk 1st week. Then the next week. And the next week. Semua need to be ready!

And the best part is, aku kena guna barang2 yang ada sahaja. I.e guna balik barang2 masa abang dia bertunang/kahwin. Aku faham. Sebab bab kahwin nih jangan cakap la. Banyak nak pakai duit oooo.. Aku faham sesangat. Sebab I'm sure bukan aku jer.. Semua orang pernah merasai dan melaluinya.

Cumanya, otak aku tak berapa nak berkembang biler guna limited things. Kang aku nak beli lain, takut dia tak nak bare the cost. Rugi kira2 aku. Hahahhahahahaha Most of all, BIL aka abang En Zaki, is getting married in the same month.

So since I'm the only person in the family who can actually do the hantaran. Aku lah yang kena kan.. But then not only the hantaran kena buat. But the door gift, food..semua lah.. kena pikir. Macam sesak memula aku nak kahwin dulu plaks. Where others, heheheheh sajorkkkk..

Camner aku nak explain?? For the kenduri, aku ngan En Zaki will bare the cost. Sebab it is in conjunction with Aqiqah Imie. So kira nak menolong meringankan beban la. But then, adik-beradik yang lain buat dek sajer yang buat aku hangin.

The thing is bakal SIL aku nih, quite well off. Adik beradik dia semua successful! Ada yang doktor, dekan, pensyarah dll.. Takkan ko nak bagi door gift yang biasa2 jer. At least yang gah sikit! Tak pun, sekurang2nya dlm kotak mengkuang tuh. Betul tak?? Which aku dah beli masa aku klik Kelate arituh..

Then aku nak kena pk what to give for aqiqah anak aku lagiks. Dah la hantaran aku kena pk what to do.. Then yang nak bagi kepada tetamu yang datang pun aku yang take care kan. Aku tak kisah pasal duit. Bukan nak berlagak. Tapi kebetulan memang rezeki aku ngan En Zaki agak murah tahun nih. So we dun mind about the money.

Tapi takkan tak leh bagi dari segi kudrat ker. Taking care about gelas tak cukup ker..Pinggan tak cukup ker..Nak beli termos air ker.. Takkan semua tuh aku nak buat gaks?? Which, memang aku dah buat dan beli pun.

Sangat frustrating!

Is like wanting to scream out loud,

USE YOUR HEAD LA PEOPLEEEE!!!

Hahahahahahahahha, how I wish la kan....

there's definitely something wrong with my bunga... hahahahha.. what do u think?? aku rasa cam tak kena.. tp kena gaks buat satu... tell me what u think?? harus diingat ini adalah hantaran sepupu En Zaki dan hanya menggunakan barang2 yg ada saja..

pandangan dari sisi..

..alhamdulillah..

Alhamdulillah..ada rezeki lebey kami awal tahun ini...So En Zaki telah mencadangkan we perform this responsibility. Syukur Alhamdulillah... I love you lah yang!

..weekend yg panjang..

You know what??

I am this close to be a pshyco!

Hahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahah

Aku bukan sahaja banyak kejer di opis dan di rumah.. Tapi lately nih, aku jugak telah dihaunted oleh orang2 tertentu yang memaksa meminta pertolongan untuk membuat hantaran... Tetiba skill terpencil aku telah diketahui oleh ramai orang di daerah Temerloh ini.. Chewaaahhh!! Poyo! Yer kita kena sekali sekala poyo mengalahkan pocoyo yang jadik pocong! Hehehehhehe

antara hantaran yang aku buat early this year.. amacam?? it suppose to be a peacock.. apsal aku tgk jadik macam ayam tambatan nih?? hahahahahhaha korang ingat senang nak buat?? leceh okkk.. ini antara hantaran jiran MIL aku.. huhuhuhuhu

So last Sunday, BIL aku bertunang. Ini BIL, abangnya En Zaki. Aku masih menantu bongsu yang comelicious!!! Hahahahahahhahahaha So biler dah bertunang, aku di angkat martabat sebagai tukang buat hantaran. Nih sebagai amal sedekah jariah. Tolong2 adik beradik.


Majlis pertunangan yang paling ringkas pernah aku pi. Gi kul 5pm, balik kul 6pm. Hehehe.. Tapi yang paling harunya, boleh kakak bakal SIL aku tuh buat statement kat aku:

"NIH MAK SEDARA KER??"

Adakah perlu aku nangis atau ketawa meroyan sambil cocok lubang hidung kakak itu, sambil melatah, "AKU SEKEH KANG! AKU SEKEH KANG!??". Paling tragis dan syahdu sekali waktu itu. Terus aku merembat sessi kesyahduan menyarung cincin itu.. Huhuhuhuhuhu

Cakap banyak tak guna. Kita layan jer gambar. Tapi paling bangangnya, aku lupa nak ambik gambo hantaran. Dasar COP GETAH betul!!! Penat jer aku buat.!

hantaran dari jauh ku pohon doa.. hehehehhehe..x ada alas2..dulang2..katanya x nak jiran2 tau

acara sarung cincin..

tudung coklat cam nak oren tuh..kak long..kakak En Zaki..tudung Hijau..kak ngah..kakak En Zaki gaks.. yg lelain itu adalah mak sedara En Zaki..

gambo "mak sedara" ngan bakal biras ku

Aku peduli apa orang cakap aku look old compared to my real age. As long that I feel young at heart udah. Dah muka aku macam itu. Takkan aku nak buat plastic sampah surgery laks kan?? I dun care..whatever..nevermind.. hehehehhe

p/s: Anak2 dan laki tinggai di umah yer...hehehehhee

..n.o.n..

Hehehehehe

Guess what?? Yesterday I went to see my fav doctor, since I'm having difficulty to walk. And my left foot is swollen like h**l!! Alhamdulillah, I am able to see the doctor in a short period. Since there were like no one at the moment. Yang kelakarnya, it was the doctors react when she saw me. I said, hello doctor. Then she replied hi. Before I can tell her what bothers me, she put themormeter inside my mouth. And yes, I was shocked!! Hahahahahha

Then later, when she took out the meter I said, I'm not having a fever. Then she said, no fara u looked so paled! I thought u were having a fever. Hahahahahhahaha Yes, I do look like corpse! Huh! Scary tul!

So she just check my bp, and it went slightly above border! Giler!!!! BP high wehhh!!! And she asked me whether I have this and that and the list continues...and I was speechless for a sec. Coz I have all the symptoms. Check my blood count, because she afraid I have history of blood disorder.

After few minor test, she ask me to do some blood test which covers all! And when the result comes out, she will bring the result and my KUB scan to specialist. Gosh! I am afraid of this. I just ask for 2nd opinion about my swollen leg for crying out loud. But then, I do have eczema at my joints only..and like I said the list go on..

So she said, I might having AutoImmune Disease.

So I will be doing procedures. My parents is backing me up in this. I still remember what she said to me this morning when I called her. "Chik, just do the procedures one by one. Then when we know what's wrong, then we can take some medication to maintain it."

Pray for me k. Nothing to worries. Just some procedures.

Autoimmune diseases

-arise from an overactive immune response of the body against substances and tissues normally present in the body. In other words, the body attacks its own cells. This may be restricted to certain organs (e.g. in thyroiditis) or involve a particular tissue in different places (e.g. Goodpasture's disease which may affect the basement membrane in both the lung and the kidney). The treatment of autoimmune diseases is typically with immunosuppression—medication which decreases the immune response.

And below is my KUB scan result.

Definition of Bilateral hydronephrosis:

Bilateral hydronephrosis is the enlargement (distention) of the pelvis and urine collecting structures of both kidneys. Bilateral means both sides.

Causes, incidence, and risk factors:

Bilateral hydronephrosis oocurs when urine is unable to drain from the kidney down the ureters into the bladder. Hydronephrosis is not itself a disease, but rather a physical result of whatever disease is keeping urine from draining out of the kidneys, ureters, and bladder.
Disorders associated with bilateral hydronephrosis include:
Acute bilateral obstructive uropathy
Chronic bilateral obstructive uropathy
Vesicoureteric reflux
Uteropelvic junction obstruction
Posterior ureteral valves
Neurogenic bladder
Bladder outlet obstruction
Prune belly syndrome

p/s: Today is my eldest sister birthday. HAPPY 39TH BIRTHDAY MY DEAR YONG!!!

..biler sang ummi busy gilos..

Aku sangat busy!!!

Busy sangat!!!

Sampai aku rasa nak pelangkung jer pc nih. Then aku rasa cam nak minta tukar opis! Huhu Ever since aku kejer opis baru nih, aku memang tak leh idup senang. Ari2 balik lambat. Sib baik tak kena tiew ngan En Zaki. If not..marti la aku kena heret kejer bawak balik umah.

Kat umah nak bawak balik kejer?? Harus aku kena pakuk ngan En Zaki!!! Ngan kejer umah nak buatnya..ngan nak layan karenah birokrasi anak2 aku nya.. which lead to kenapa biler aku balik jer umah, anak2 aku semuanya tunjuk kelaku??? Padahal ngan abahnya, elok jer pangai masing2.

*sigh*

So back to busy mode, lately beras kat dapur tuh langsung aku tak usik. Apatah lagi dalam freezer..langsung sepatah haram takder..coz' I dun cook lately nih. So off to tapau ngan makan kat luar. Senang idup! Balik umah dah confirm Izzah & Imie tidur. Dia org tidur by 9 pm. Baru leh concentrate buat kejer umah. Umah sangat tonggang langgang kkkk!!!!

Mari layan gambo.....

1. Old White Coffee Kopitiam

i love his cheekiness...

like father..like daughter...

izzah playing with the menus.. aku tgh sentap ngan pangai izzah masa nih..

kan aku dah cakap..mamat nih mmg cheeky!

me with Imie

our drinks...

en zaki's

mine

2. Pizza Hut

our food that is less than RM20!!!!