..help! i can't BREATHE!!!..

Lately, I've been haunted by lots of work! Basically, after a long leave, I had to tidy up last year mess. Since there's nobody to do it, and I have to settle it. After sending the last report for last year, I think I had enuff! I have to take a break. Seriously! I have to!

Then later, I received this brochure from SOGO. It is SOGO MEMBERS SALE! It held from 21 till 24 February 2008. Dahlah akhir bulan kan. So you know, I know la kan the condition of the financial state! Hahahahahahhaha

Me: Yang, fara nak gi sale tuh. Khamis nih. Fara stress!!

Kie: Nak naik apa? Saya kerja.

Me: Bas.

Kie: Gi la. Balik sebelum kul 5.

Yipppiiieee yeayyyy!

So early in the morning, I woke up at 5.30am. Tukar pampers anak2. Then kie tanya, awak follow saya ker? A'ah. So after sending both of them to babysitter. Aku follow kie. Guess aku naik apa? hahahahhahaha aku naik motor sampai ke Bentong!! Macam nak tercabut pinggang aku nih! Dah lama siut tak naik motor! Hahahahahhah Cari pasal betul laaaaa!

Dari Bentong naik bas ke KL. Sampai lebey kurang kul 9.45am. Reach KL, naik LRT and went straight to SOGO. Byk tul perubahan! Cam jakun seyyy.. Dah lama tak masuk KL nih. Selalu turun mesti pinggir2 jer. hehehhe

Sampai depan SOGO, ramai orang dah que untuk masuk. Mak aiii! Ingatkan aku sorang jer amik cuti for this sale. Berbulu lagi orang. Yup! True! Memang banyak item yang menarik. Especially susu and basic necessities for kids!

Buka jer aku terus gi Level 7, coz kat situ lah event tu. Byk benda yang menarik. Especially for my babies. Then beli utk Kie. Luckily I bring along my backpack. Hahahahahahha Beli barang rumah yang murah. Is like cushion cover for RM5. Murah seyyy! Akemi and Windsir bedsheet is range between rm30 to rm60. Murah! Then ada yang mmg aku suka giler ngan corak ngan material that is so soft. Tp reganya RM1k plus, after less 50%. Itu is out of budget. Tetiba jer aku terpandang, leh redeem voucher! Yahoooo!

Selepas penat bershopping, dan aku ala2 dah pening tak makan..lepaking at Food Court. Barang sikit punya lah banyak. Ramai org dok usha aku. Leh budak nih shopping ujung bulan??

Aku sambung shopping balik. HahahahahahaTurun bawah, beli laks pyjamas and shirts for izzah n imie. And last, aku beli gaks for myself. A pair of shoe. Kena beli gaks. After all, this break is for me. Ajak gaks ZZ, Filla and the rest of the clan. Tapi nobody can make it. So takper lah. Layan kepala sesorang pun okeh gaks. Hehehe

Ini plaks santapan aku masa on the way balik. Lepak ngan dut, my ex officemate. Ini baru betul release stress! Tu rupa nak kurus!!??? hahahahhahaha

Ini aku with my new shade. Believe it or not, aku dalam bas on the balik masa nih. Hahahahha buruk siuuuttt!

Leh laks masa on the way balik tuh (aku balik naik bas lompat, since aku terlepas bas express), bas tuh rosak 2 kali!!!??? Hahahhahahahahahharun tul! Aku cepat2 bg msg kat kie. Kang kena lampirstilskin kang. Hahhahahahah Tetiba teringat anak aku masa tgh rosak tuh. Kesian kat dia orang. Rindu pun ada...

Nih habuannya. Tak byk baju utk imie. Untuk Izzah dan age mcm dia byk gilos! Knp siap ada cookies tuh? Sbb ianya RM4 sahaja! Hahahahaha Gambo kasut jer takder.. hehehhe aku kan low profile.. Semua tuh dekat RM400 tapi separuh nya di cover oleh baucer ku itu! Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu

Balik jer umah. Aku mcm kosong! Bukan kosong kenapa. Sebabnya aku mcm dah habis SOGO tuh absorb stress dan juga duit aku! Hahahahahahhahahaha Tapi yang anehnya, aku tidur tanpa mimpi kejer2 aku.... Huhuhuhuhuhuhu..Best!

..chaotic but truly blessed!..

I’m enjoying plus cherishing my life right now. Eventough a bit chaotic, but truly it completes me. The children are super duper full with character. Izzah? Huh she is adorable, cheeky, and cute and lots more. But once she open her mouth and scream, I feel like clogging her with whatever that can stop her to scream. Heheheheh Nak berak pun jerit! Nak makan pun jerit! Nak mandi pun jerit! Nak jalan-jalan pun jerit! So tell me how la??? *wink* *wink*

Perhaps there is the truth about people telling having new baby in the house, might incur insecurity feeling to your first born. But I am being fair, to both of them. Eventough it means dodoi Imie in his buaian and holding Izzah at the same time. And plus there are house chores and cooking to do. But nothing else matters. I’m not trying, but I’ll be the best in doing what I do now.

..another gift from God, that I treasured..

I just love to hold Imie. Just love to entertain him at all times. Perhaps I missed Izzah when she was Imie’s age. And that’s the reason I never get bored entertaining my Izzah. For Izzah, I still have the guilt for not being there for her at her first 4 months. I was a weekend mother back then. I was still working in KL. I have to leave her with my IL, while waiting to be transferred to Temerloh. But I am here, am I??

.. the simplest smile that can amend the worse of my days..

Still the guilt is there. And I am kind of qada the times that I lose for Izzah with Imie. And still I amaze of him. Every single thing, it amazes me. The slyish smile, crankiness (no doubt) and the ability to make me smile after that is priceless.

..speechless?? u bet!!!..

Uwaaa..dia suka buat aku mcm nih… Mencinyaa! But I can menci him, since he is so charming when he do this. Eventhough selama bercinta 2 tahun plus kahwin 3 tahun..dah almost 5 years dah, bley dikira dia cakap sayang, love dan lain-lain. I remember receiving the 1st bday gift, which is was a table clock, Hello Kitty Table Clock okkkk!!! Then the next year was a brooch and pout pourri. Biler nak ingat balik, memang kelakar. Walau pun tak mcm aku bagi kat dia, which was an Adidas Watch and a Nokia handphone! Huhuhuhu But the thought that counts!

Dah kahwin, memang sepatah haram wish pun tak ada, inikan pula hadiah. Lepas bersalin kan Izzah, I received Miss “C” handbag, eventhough masa itu aku pesan kat kawan aku kat US tuh, I dun actually know it is really a brand! An exclusive brand that worth thousands kat Mesia nih! Silly me! But yang aku punya tuh is outdated punya, thus the price is reduced!Tremendously! Biler Kie cakap, what do you want? I want a handbag! How much it cost, Kie asked. My fren said it will cost RMxxx. Hmmm..I give u ½ of it, yang lain top up sendiri. Heheheheh tak kisah la labu, as long that you really give me the amount of money. I love you dear.

Then masa aku tgh sakit hati giler kat dia, dia amend dengan member aku seutas gelang emas, which he gave ¾ of the price and the rest tu mcm biasalah aku top up sendiri. Tapi he really is the mysterious one. Januarian nih mmg mcm nih ker?? Marti la weh, aku tak leh nak predict apa yang dia nak buat dan fikir. Huh! Kipas susah mati la..


Selepas baru balik dari Hospital, for stone checkup. Anak-anak kat babysitter and I still on leave.

Me: Yang, nanti kita gi kedai spec. Saya perlu buat spec baru really bad.
Kie: Emm..

..see how red is my eye is??..

Kat optician.

Salesgirl: Kakak mau cari apa??
Me: saya nak buat spec.
Salesgirl: Kita ada promotion sempena CNY.
Me: saya ambil student package bley? Tapi saya bukan student.
Salesgirl: Takper. Takper. Promotion. Bley punya.
Me: How much?
Salesgirl: RM188 including uv protection..bla..bla..
Me: Murah sey! (I was known in the family, kaki ambik frame adik-beradik yang dah tak mau pakai, then aku buat jer lense. And since adik aku tak bawak balik frame hugo the vast dia tuh ke ipoh, so aku buat baru. Terkezutnya, it cost much2 cheaper, to compare buat lense sajer) Oklah saya buat. Biler boley siap?
Salesgirl: After CNY.
Me: Okeh!

(Went in the room, utk eye test. Memang betul pun ada increasing in power. Marti la haku nih, setiap kali beranak, power lain)

Kat umah dalam keadaan yang suam-suam kuku.

Kie: Nah!
Me: Amenda nih?
Kie: Awak nih banyak cakap la. Amik aa!
Me: (Open the plastic, berdebar-debar suit) *speechless*

..shade yang memang padan ngan aku..

Selepas 10 minit, kie dah habis mandi, and aku masih stare at the shade.

Kie: Woi pakai la. Kalau tak padan, leh tukar. Amenda dok usha?
Me: Awak nih serius ker?
Kie: Tak nak ke? Tak nak saya jual balik.
Me: Eh nak laaaaaaaa! Amenda??

Aku?? Senyum sampai ke telinga.. Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah, for soften his heart towards me. Doa aku dimakbulkan… and I am greatful..Dan yang paling membuat aku terharu, piggy bank dia dah kosong, dan aku tahu nilai duit yang ada sama rega ngan shade itu...

..happy me!!..

amacam?? coolio tak saya??

I AM HAPPY!

I am happy! Seriously I am. Don’t know how to describe it. But somehow I am happy. What more can you ask for. I am blessed with TWO wonderful kid of my own and a husband who is to ego to admit that he loves me. He does love me though. Even though there are times that I feel to kick some sense in him.

We have our differences. But we settle the differences, sooner or later. Like my friend said, that’s why I am fated to be with him. Because he is the one with a temper (so am I, mind you), and I am the one who sooth him. I used my brain maa! Hahahahhahahahah Kalau seorang nak meroyan, tak akan dua-duanya sekali meroyan kan??

I tried to be like my mom. She is my idol in shaping my marriage life. How she handle things, us and my dad temperament. He’s not bad temper but he was strict. The strict was for his children sake and for our future. Kalau tak, kami 5 beradik tak akan jadi orang kan? Alhamdulillah all of us graduated with degrees and diplomas. (Even though cuma aku jerlah yang paling condemn.)

the adorable imie..

So being like my mom is tough. Quite difficult to remain silence to your husband temperament and being patient about it. Seriously! I’ve tried! Allah knows how I tried! It works for a while, but later you just want to scream some sense into him. But later, I found out that, is not worth it to make you all worked up. If you cannot beat them, joined them or be more sarcastic about it e.g; just smile through the argument or just simplified it. Remember! There are TWO children that need my attention and honestly it takes tones of energy just to make the TWO of them satisfied!

So that’s it! Up and down in marriage tu biasalahkan. Just be the genius one. Because we the woman are granted by Allah with brains to clear up men’s mess! *wink wink* And mind you, the woman also are the genius that fulfill the requirement to organize and handle a household! We ROCK!

So that’s it. Hoping that this feeling will remain till the end of our life.

..the 50th day..

how i love this picca!!

Hari ini adalah hari yang ke 50. Though I’m not in my confinement period, but still I feel tired to the bone! Seriously, it is not easy to be a wife and a mother. And I’m still on maternity leave that will be over this 4th February. Just imagine how I look like when I start working that day. Adding another job to the list as a career woman. Though sometimes, I do feel like quitting and be a full time ummi and a housewife. My job does suck big time though! But I need the money. So, who am I to blame?

Sekarang ni, barulah tahu condition Azie macam mana. Dia pun anak DUA dan kerap macam aku. Takder saper pulak nak tolong. But still, she has her husband to help her when he’s a round. Honestly, man can be obnoxious selfish, ungrateful and feelingless! Seriously! I felt like kicking his shin! Like ‘wachaa’ kind of kicking! The reason of being tired from work can not be use of being selfish etc. Seriously! As though that I’m not tired. All this while it is me, who’s be handling this 2 children of ours. Now that I am home, there is house chore to think of. Having not able to sleep for 50 days does have the advantage of being the reason for being selfish. But I’m not selfish, am I? If I am, he’s going to see the house “tunggang terbalik’ condition or letting the children to cry their heart out whilst I could have the leisure of sleeping! But I didn’t do that, did I?

I know, it is not good to complaint. Plus there will be ‘pahala’ deduction if you are not true enough in doing your responsibility. But to whom you could let go the anger and frustration that has been building up in you?? And somehow, I do know the answer. In this matter handling your anger and frustration thing, I turn to my mom. And she advised, be reasonable and wise. Don’t let you anger and frustration control you, even though the thought of stabbing her with a pencil does cross my mind. Having the devilish thought in mind, do ease the feeling a bit. Heheheh

I came across this article in one of the magazine that my mom read during my confinement period. It is one of the reasons that keep me calm and smiling today. That makes me sane till this day. As a woman, you have the advantage of all the goodness in this world. Everything you do, Allah will be grant ‘pahala’ to you easily. Especially to woman that has become a wife or a mom. Don’t know how to tell this, but I survived his grumpiness today! Seriously! I survived without biting my lips!

Alhamdulillah. Terlepas satu dosa aku hari nih. Walaupun aku rasa macam nak terkeluar mata aku ni tahan geram. Heheheh But I feel tremendously calm today! Don’t know what happen. Perhaps I just make myself busy, until I forgot to feel angry. Ahaks!

bley ker aku buka nursery lepas nih?? hehehe

..the man who sold the world..

..kenapa aku pejam mata?? sukahati aku la..aku nak tunjuk bukti lepas bersalinkan izzah, aku still can fit those kebaya...huhuhuhu...

Bday kie yang ke 31! Tapi adakah benar umurnya 31 tahun? Adakah sekadar gimik semata-mata?? Heheh I know what u did last week la yang. Mula-mula aku tak tahu alkisahnya cerita di sebalik kelahiran kie. Nak tahunya, he was actually born in December 1976! To be precise 31st December 1976! Secara tak langsungnya, he was actually born in the same month with Imie! Who would think of that? Aku sama bulan ngan Izzah and Kie sama bulan ngan Imie!

Nak jadikan cerita, orang dulu-dulukan bersalin kat rumah. Then it will take some time, for them to register the birth of their child. Then by the time abah kie gi register which is in Balai Polis, so he put la 2 January 1977 instead.

Moralnya?? Kenononnya, depa nih dok kesian la anak lelaki depa nih lahir hujung tahun. Orang lain dah berjanggut tua, dia masih terkial-kial nak jadi tua! Kuikuikuikuikuikuikuikuikui

Anyway yang, HAPPY 31st BIRTHDAY ke 32nd? Hehehehe but age does not matter kan? Yang penting hati mau happy dan ceria sokmo! May Allah bless you alwez, and how we bless to have u as my husband and abah to Izzah and Imie. We love you heaps!

p/s: Kie’s bday was during my confinement. So I ask my mom to buy his gift, yakni sehelai t-shirt. And she selected herself. Aku suruh mak beli yang murah, instead she bought for him yang mahal coz’ she said the mahal one is much better in quality. Jadi moralnya apa anak2? That kie is their favorite son in law? Or perhaps kie yang mengada, sampai sikit2 abah ngan mak cakap, zaki dah makan ker? Dah buat air untuk zaki ker? Sikit2 zaki itu..sikit2 zaki ini. Adakah itu menggambarkan aku jeles? Idak lah sama sekali. Good for him! But too much of him, bikin ambo terjelueh! :p

...kasih tercipta..

Alhamdulillah! After almost 12 hours struggling and pushing, I'm here to annouce the arrival of our son, Mohamad Rahimie Bin Mohamad Zaki. With 23 stiches, I survived the ordeal! Thank you for the wishes, the smses and the support from all of you. It helps me to heal and manage the trauma.

THANK YOU!

p/s: Ceriteranya lepas nih la yek..