Monday, June 30, 2008
It’s hard to remember everything nowadays. I have a lot on my mind. Lots and lots of things. To the extend I grow lots of grey hair. (Excuse tuh!) Hehehehe But maybe I have to put on paper, the things that I have to do. But I forget to put them on papers. So who is to blame? Non other me, myself and I. Hahhahahahahaha
But, I need to remember. Please God. Please be with me. Don’t let me forget. Please….
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Being me is difficult. People put high expectation on me. Everything is on my shoulder. Sometimes, it does feel good when people put certain expectation on me. It is because there are people that does give attention and actually care about me. But really, too much of it, make me choked on suffocation! I can barely breathe.
Being me is difficult. It simply because I am the most reckless, love to make joke and fooling around, to the extend people don’t actually believe that I can be a serious person. They don’t know how serious thinker I am. All they know, hmm Fara, she can’t be rely on. And most of the question just pop out from their mouth, states the accusation that really hurt me. Is there nothing about me that is really good? Am I the only one with the mistakes? Don’t I allow making mistakes?
Being me is difficult. I know I screwed big time long time ago. Tarnishing the family good name and Gods know what I did back then. But people do mistakes. I’m not the Prophet or the angel. More or less, you do mistakes too. And lot cruel and meaner than me. Please don’t judge me, simply by the mistake that I did. I am a different person now. A much better person!
Being me is difficult. When all the time, I was trying to make everyone please, and all of the sudden, people will tear away the thing that I try to build up. If me being nice is a sin, and what should I do next? Simply stating that you are really a pain in the ass!!?? But by stating that, I am nothing better to compare to you. Just that it comply that I should really be like you. A mean son of the biatch!
Being Farahiyah Binti Mohamed Hairiri is indeed difficult. And a nuisance to some people. But who are you to judge me, for what I do!!?? Just please grow up and find other people to pick a fight with. Just give your cruelty and mean empathy to someone else. Really, it does not effect to me at all. Is like a fart that flow into air!
p/s: I am in a foul mood! I just hate when people being so nice to me, but at the same time hurling those nasty word in front and behind my back. And I am tired of being nice to people that does not know what nice means. Just go away! Amik jer duit RM100 aku tuh buat salat punggung ko! Ko tak gak kaya! Aku pun tak miskin! How arrogance is my statement? But I have the every right to be that way!
Friday, June 27, 2008
Boleh tak kalau aku cakap. There are people that are selfish and cruel? I don’t know this, until I married Kie. Seriously I don’t know this kind of people does exist! Am I naïve? Or just plain ignorance? Or perhaps, I just know, but simply ignore it.
Why this pretense, if you don’t mean it. Why pretend, if you suck at it. Pretending is ignorance! And thus, ignorance in pretending! Ignoring the heart that you hurt. For example, mine! And yes, it hurt like hell! For a second, I do believe that we can be sisters at heart!
I don’t believe that you can be this cruel and heartless. I don’t believe the warning given to me. I don’t believe all the nonsense about you, that being told to me. I don’t believe a dime! But suddenly, I was taken aback with your bitterness. I was speechless at first. And later, I was raving with rage! If look can kill, mine will surely do!!!
But I have to face the fact. I am alone in this isolated place! And I can’t deny the right that my kids need their cousins and friends! And I can’t deny, that the blood that running inside Kie, is entwined with her. And sooner or later, I will forget the insolence and move on. Ah hell! I just cooked in her house!
What a bloody mess!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
..ini izzah punya laks. pun in dire need to change to a new one. ummi dapat another cheque, then kita tukar yer sayang..
Tetapi klu pakai tilam yang amat nipis, kesian la kat Imie. Sakit badan lah dia. Eventhough I have give hints to my siblings about buying this mattress. heheheh But then after received my insurance cash cheque, I decided to buy the mattress on my own. hehehe Taklah smpi beratus. Tp still it is pricey dengan condition finance yang terhad.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
I have a slipped disc. (hence I actually spell it as sleep when I smsed ZZ last nite..huhuhu) For those who knows about my condition after giving birth to Imie, they know that I've been suffering backache since. And last nite, was the worst. Perhaps it was the mixed between the backache and menstrual pain. I smsed Kie to fetch me after he finished work. Meet up with the regular doctor. He suspected that it is between Osthroporosis (did I get the spelling right?) and a slipped disc.
After some scanning (which cost me a fortune, plus it was actually a day before salary), he detected a slight slipped of the disc. (bukan disket ker cd ker, ini disc actually located at the spine in the vetebrater ntah hapa ntah). I've been suffering this pain for almost 7 months. And the doctor asked, why didn't I do some check up before this. It was because I thought it is normal for a person giving birth to suffer, which I don't have this problem after giving birth to Izzah.
Currently, I really wanted to let my parents know. But since they are in Jakarta for a holiday. I'm not going to ruin their holiday mood, worrying about me. So I have to wait for them to come home to let them know my condition. Eventhough, I am calling every now and then, but I don't have the heart to spoil their holiday. (It was a holiday sponsored by my sisters, Nyah and Yang).
So here I am. Typing in my blog. So that I can somehow, let my worries calm down. I have been doing a lot of thinking. Since I'm not going to let some disc to bring me down. Yeah, the doctor said, that I can't lift anything that is heavy. So who are going to lift my 10kg baby Imie? Kie is stuck with Izzah and the rest of the bags.
What should I do? The doctor said, there are going to be a lot of physio and medications. But then there's no guarantee that I can heal 100% and be normal. So why me? My abah also has a slipped disc. So does it genetic? Or just simply it is because me? The one who happens to have every single illness that my parents have. But then, things happen for a reason. And I know it for sure. Just muhasabah diri, bertawakal dan berusaha. InsyaAllah...
What is a disc?
The spine is made up of the vertebrae (the bones making up the spine), which have cartilage discs between them.
The discs consist of a circle of connective tissue with a central gel-like core. This makes the spine flexible and at the same time acts as a protective buffer.
In the centre of this column of vertebrae and discs is the spinal canal, which contains the spinal cord stretching from the brain-stem down to the first or second lumbar vertebra. It continues as a bundle of nerve fibres called the cauda equina stretching down towards the sacrum, which is the extension of the spine. Between each vertebra, the spinal cord has nerve root connections to other parts of the body.
The spine is divided into three parts:
* neck (cervical vertebrae)
* chest (thoracic vertebrae)
* the lower back (lumbar vertebrae).The spine is connected to the ribs at the chest.
What is a slipped disc?
A slipped disc is when the soft part of the disc bulges through the circle of connective tissue. This prolapse may push on the spinal cord or on the nerve roots. However, it is worth noting that 20 per cent of the population have slipped discs without experiencing any noticeable symptoms.
The term 'slipped disc' does not really describe the process properly - the disc does not actually slip out of place, but bulges out towards the spinal cord.
What is the cause of a slipped disc?
A slipped disc occurs due to the breaking down of the circle of connective tissue with advancing age. This causes a weakness allowing the soft part to swell.
Slipped discs most often affect the lower back and are relatively rare in the chest part of the spine.
It is possible that hard physical labour can increase the likelihood of a slipped disc. They are also occasionally seen following trauma such as an injury from a fall or a road traffic accident.
At what age can a slipped disc occur?
A slipped disc in the lower back is most often seen between the ages of 30 and 50. In the cervical vertebrae around the neck, slipped discs are most often seen between the ages of 40 and 60.
What are the symptoms of a slipped disc?
A slipped disc can be symptom free. If it causes pain, it is primarily due to the pressure on the nerve roots, the spinal cord or the cauda equina.
Symptoms of nerve root pressure
Paralysis of single muscles, possibly with pain radiating to the arms or legs. There may also be a disturbance of feeling in the limbs.
Symptoms of pressure on the spinal cord
Disturbance of feeling, muscle spasms or paralysis in the part of the body below the spinal cord pressure. For example, pressure on the spinal cord in the chest area will cause spasms in the legs but not in the arms. Pressure on the spinal cord may cause problems with control of the bladder.
Symptoms of pressure on the cauda equina
The symptoms can include loss of control of the bladder function, disturbance of feeling in the rectum and the inside of the thighs and paralysis of both legs. These are serious symptoms and anyone developing them should contact a doctor immediately. (They are so-called 'red flag' symptoms.)
How does the doctor make a diagnosis?
It is possible to make a diagnosis from the patient's history and the doctor's physical examination.
In many cases it is possible to determine which disc is affected. This can be confirmed either by a CT scan, MRI scan or a myelography - an injection into the spinal cord canal.
The doctor will decide which examination is necessary.
An ordinary X-ray of the spine is usually taken as well, but is much less use diagnostically than a scan or myelogram.
It is important to make a correct diagnosis because several other diseases have similar symptoms. Any 'red flag' symptoms must be acted upon without delay.
How is a slipped disc treated?
It is generally agreed that a slipped disc should be treated conservatively, with surgery being considered only when other approaches to treatment have failed.
The treatment will typically mean a brief period of bed-rest with appropriate painkillers. Physiotherapy or chiropractic treatment should also be explored.
Whether to have an operation or not, is a decision for a specialist.
* When there are symptoms of pressure on the spinal cord or on the cauda equina, an operation
should be performed as soon as possible.
* Cases involving serious or increasing paralysis should be treated as an emergency and
admitted to hospital for assessment immediately.When there are changes in the symptoms, a
doctor should be consulted. Significant changes in bladder habits or control, increasing
paralysis of the limbs or muscle spasticity should always receive immediate medical
Based on a text by Dr Per Rochat, Dr Henrik Wulff Christensen, chiropractor and Jan Hartvigsen, chiropractor
Friday, June 20, 2008
Kie: Yang, saya nak ambil kursus pendek kat IKBN.
Me: Kursus apa?
Kie: Kursus Bahasa Inggeris.
Me: Really? How much it cost?
Kie: Free. Cuma bayar RM10 for car sticker ngan tanda nama. Boleh ker?
Me: Gi la. Takder hal. Janji jangan alang-alang taik ayam. Fara leh jaga anak-anak.
Kie has been taking this short course for the past 2 months. For the past 2 months, he has been traveling from Temerloh to Institut Kemahiran Belia Negara; IKBN for short, hence in Temerloh too. But it is located somewhere near to Lanchang but still in Temerloh district. The journey is ½ hour journey from our house here in Bandar Temerloh.
But with all the increase in fuel, it affect our monthly financial. Nevertheless, Kie still proceed with the studies. Me being the supportive wife, tell him not to stop just because the reason. Plus, it’s a wasted after all this time to quit. He has a good lecturer that that teaches MUET for IPT student. And yes, rugi sey kalau tak sambung.
And today, he has the exam. Final of this semester. He tried to study yesterday. But I told him to study after Izzah has sleep. You surely know what my Izzah can really do. Hehehehhe Imie takper. Dia kecik lagik. Habis tinggi pun merengek nak susu.
So yang. Good luck! Keep your finger cross! Gambate! Chaiyok! We have faith in you! Just read the question carefully. InsyaAllah…
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Will upload the story later. Sbb den tertinggai den punya thumbdrive kat umah. Sbb den typing error kat umah. Hehehehe But roughly ianya terjadi, biler mak abah dia khusyuk tgk TV sambil membuaikan Imie, rupanya sedar-sedar separuh bedak yang maha besar tuh dah habis kena gosok atas tikar. So enjoy the clip firstly in the morning, dan tolong abaikan kain-kain yang bermaharajalela kat atas sofa tuh yer...